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Sexless Relationships
Fifty percent of couples can identify with sexless relationships, so you may not be
alone. Whether your relationship was hot and erotic in the beginning or comfortably sexless, there’s nothing wrong with
desiring more.
A common myth about
sexless relationships suggests that desire isn’t something you can make yourself feel, either you do or you don’t.
It’s like “sexual chemistry. The common idea of “sexual chemistry” has two main parts:
One is that when you have “chemistry,” sex is effortless and automatic. The other is that once sex dies, the “chemicals”
are used up and there is nothing you can do. This erroneous viewpoint is popular because we love the notion that sexual relationships
don’t take work if you’re “meant for each other” or “in love.” However, there are lots
of things you can do to get yourself in the mood for sex. For example, loose that extra ten pounds, let yourself fantasize
in advance, take a nice bath, or wear sexy underwear that make you feel hot.
Confronting underlying problems in yourself or the relationship can really help too. If you and/or your partner have a goal to explore personal sexual beliefs, increase
sexual confidence, intensify the passion in the bedroom, try individual or couples counseling.
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Female Sexual Dysfuntion
and/or Dissatisfaction
Lindsay
Novak, MA, LMHP, CPC
Sexual dysfunction
and dissatisfaction are unfortuneatly inevitable throughout people's lives and relationships. Sometimes a medical procedure
or illness can lead to sexual problems, other times, life's stresses take precedence over our sex drives.
Specifically, sexual
problems can be the result of past sexual abuse, religious or cultural beliefs, relationship problems, personal stress or
mental illness; physical illnesses such as cancer, MS, parkinsons, or other surgical procedures.
Sexual dysfunctions
can be categorized by (1) pain during intercourse or arousal, (2) lack of desire and/or possibly avoiding sex and/or intimacy,
(3) inability to become aroused even though you and your brain are willing, (4) inability to achieve or maintain orgasm.
Any number of things
could cause one or more of the above dysfunctions. A collaborative team of OBGYN's, physical therapists and psychotherapists
can work with you to regain the sexual level you desire.
What you can expect from psychotherapy treating sexual dysfunction/dissatisfaction,
is individual or couple counseling, an historical analysis of possible leading factors to sexual problems, pain management,
cognitive restructuring, new behavioral techniques like sensate focus/intimacy exercises, and communication enhancement (in
couples). In addition to this therapy, a doctor and physical thearpist can also contribute with pharmacologic changes, pelvic
floor stregthening or injections, biofeedback, and arousal devices.
Many people experience sexual dysfunction or dissatisfaction in their life.
If you can identify with this and would like to enhance your sexual health, please contact me.
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